Wow, thank you all for all this interest and help! My trouble is I do not know how I can really help, but I will tell what I know. Grandmother Elizabeth Lillian had a book by Thomas B and it said to my Cousin. They were both born in Canada, he in 1885, son of John Costain and Mary Schultz. so I thought the first reply just had the name a bit wrong. I have found that John Herberts father was John, but it also claims mother was Alice (perhaps the name she was known by or a second name). I have not found his immigration yet, but in the same town and close by there are a Richard b1848, a Thomas b20 aug1847 and a Margaret b12 aug1842. I of course do not know how they we related, but all born IOM.
So although Thomas B and our Lillian were cousins I do not know how close but they were born within 10 miles of each other in Canada and with in a couple of years. Jane costain emmigrated with her husband Owen Jones in 1871/2 and their daughter Margaret. Although they left from Wales, Jane and Owen met and Married in Maughold 1867. so, perhaps they went at similar times.
Thank you
Penny