[From Buck Whaley's Memoirs]

CHAPTER I.

Introduction-My Birth-My Mother's Character-My Own-A Journey to France-To Auch-The House Establishment of an Englishman in Foreign Countries-A French Bishop-A Match Proposed-An Intrigue-A Journey to Marseilles-To Lyons-An Acquaintance with Gamblers-Honesty of a Foreign Banker-Paris-A French Courtezan-An Assignation-My Stepfather Introduced.

AFTER having made the tour of Europe and visited several parts of Asia and Africa; having indulged myself in all the pleasures which a young man of a lively imagination, possessed of a large fortune, and entire master of his actions may be supposed capable of enjoying; having vainly sought for happiness in the society of what is called the best company, and distinguished myself as a man of gallantry* with the fair sex; * a little sober reflection has convinced me how much I was deceived in believing that a life of dissipation could produce enjoyment; or that tumultuous pleasures led to real happiness. I now find that the latter can only be attained in a calm and retired life remote from the vortex of fashionable amusements, in the pursuit of which man may be said to live rather for others than himself; and where the transient pleasures he enjoys are constantly succeeded by pain and languor.

I am at present quietly settled in Ireland,¹ blessed ' with the society of a wife ² whose mild manners and amiable disposition form a striking contrast with the frivolousness, the vanity and tinsel which I formerly so much admired in my female acquaintances.

My time is divided between the education of my children,*³ the improvement of my small farm, and the writing of these Memoirs, which I hope may prove of some service to youth in particular and to travellers in general. The former will discover the different modes of seduction practised by the artful and designing of both sexes; a knowledge by which he may be a considerable saver, both in pocket and constitution.

The traveller will find a description of the manners, customs and prevailing opinions of the different nations I have visited. He will be taught to shun the impositions and artifice practised upon strangers ; and at the same time learn to avoid giving offence by that overbearing pride and self-importance too common to our countrymen, and from the display of which, by our ostentatious travellers, the British nation has suffered greatly in the opinion of foreigners.

I would not, however, have it imagined that these reflections are occasioned by a satiety of the world, or an incapacity of enjoying its pleasures ; but that they proceed from a full and firm conviction of their truth and utility. *⁴ I was born at Dublin in the year 1768.5 My father was a man of very large property, having amply provided for all his children, not less than seven in number : I had for my own share an estate of seven thousand pounds a year, besides upwards of sixty thousand pounds in money.

On my father's death, which happened when I was four years old,⁶ the care of my education devolved upon my mother, who sent me to one of the first seminaries of Ireland, where I remained till I was fifteen.

I shall beg leave to introduce my mother to the reader's acquaintance, lest he should imagine that the irregularities of my conduct, which he will have an opportunity of witnessing, by perusing these Memoirs, might have proceeded from her own bad example, or a neglect, on her part, in my education.

My mother at the age of eighteen was married to my father, then in his fifty-ninth year. To a person remarkably handsome were united captivating manners, a well-cultivated mind and the most incorruptible virtue. But what raised her highest in the esteem of all who knew her, was the undeviating rectitude of her conduct towards my father, notwithstanding the disparity of their age, which would have been sufficient to have excited the malevolence of slander against her, had she given the least opening for it, by any levity in her behaviour. She was the mother of seven children, all of whom she brought up in the paths of religion and virtue: and whatever follies any of us may have committed, the cause could never be imputed to her. All her cares, all her anxieties were on our account ; and the most bitter sensation I feel in reflecting on my past conduct proceeds from the pangs I have inflicted on that most excellent woman. Indeed, I may attribute my reform in a great measure to the desire, which I never ceased to feel, of contributing to her ease and satisfaction.

Mr. N-,⁷ of whom I shall have occasion to speak more fully hereafter. This choice would in itself have been sufficient to have gained her the esteem of all who knew her, had she not so amply possessed it before.

Ere I proceed in detailing the principal occurrences of my life, I wish to say a few words respecting the opinion I have formed of my own character.

It is a just, though trite observation, that the most difficult knowledge is that of knowing oneself; for which reason I shall not attempt to give a finished picture of my character, but merely sketch a few outlines, by which the reader may be enabled to form some judgment of my behaviour in the different scenes through which I have passed, and in which I have been a principal actor.

The most prominent feature in my character, to which I may in a great measure impute all my misfortunes, is the extreme anxiety and impatience I always felt at the approach of any difficulty. To avoid an impending evil, I have formed plans so wild and extravagant, and for the most part so impracticable, that what I had before dreaded appeared light when compared with the distress I incurred by my own precipitate folly. Added to this, an impatience of all control whatsoever, and a temper always impelled to action in proportion to the.resistance which it had to encounter; and it will no longer be a matter of surprise if I were continually entangled in some new and perplexing embarrassment.

When I had attained my sixteenth year, *my mother thought proper*⁸ to send me to France in order to finish my education. For this purpose she assigned me a yearly allowance of nine hundred pounds, and placed me under the care of a tutor, who had been recommended to her by some persons of distinction in Ireland. He had been in the army, but his pay not corresponding with his expenses he was under the necessity of selling his commission to pay his debts, and had now taken up the profession of governor, or as it is sometimes termed bear-leader, to young men of family. He had had a good education, and profited considerably by the observations he had made abroad. His heart was good ; but his constitution had been impaired by early intemperance; and he wanted that address and firmness of character necessary to superintend the conduct of a young man like me, on whom opposition badly managed, or authority indiscriminately exercised, always acted as a stimulus to excess. Though he proved an indifferent Mentor, as will appear in the sequel; yet I do not by any means wish so far to injure his memory as to lay to his charge the blame of my follies and eccentricities, which I am willing to take on my own account.

I went to meet him at Bath, from whence we travelled to London in order to forward the necessary preparations for our journey to Paris. We had not long arrived at that place before I gave him a specimen of what he had to expect.

One evening he proposed going to the play ; which, for certain reasons, I declined.

On his return, he indiscreetly entered my room and found his hopeful pupil with very indifferent company, of which, however, he took no notice; but went immediately to bed. In the morning I appeared before him with all the awkward bashfulness attendant on a first offence: but he soon reassured me by treating the matter as a bagatelle.

Such a morality, so consonant to my own taste, soon reconciled me to the character of my tutor; and for some time we lived together on the best terms imaginable. We remained about three weeks at Paris. I shall not attempt to say any thing at present of this famous city, so many descriptions of it having been already given-I mean as it existed ten years ago-for, since the Revolution it may be described as a place that stood in such or such a degree of latitude : besides, as I often visited it since, I shall take occasion to say something which may give an idea of its present inhabitants.

From Paris we travelled to Auch, where I was to learn French, and perfect myself in the exercise of riding, fencing and dancing. This place was fixed upon by my governor, as he had many acquaintances there whom he was desirous of seeing.

On my arrival I hired an elegant house, set up a pack of hounds, procured a stable of hunters, and established my house quite å l'angloise. But all this was not sufficient to satisfy my restless disposition. I therefore took a house at Cauterets and a small country residence at Bagneres, both situated in the upper Pyrenees, and much frequented on account of their mineral waters. I had likewise a house at Tarbes, which being the capital of the upper Pyrenees and the bishop's see, with a magnificent episcopal palace, was a most populous and gay city. All these places were but a few leagues from one another ; at each of which I took care to have the honours of my table done by some favourites. My tutor, in support of system, was determined to follow me at least half way ; and accordingly took under his protection another fair one, with whom he alternately visited one of my country houses. But though our taste and inclinations, in respect to the sex, were perfectly similar, yet I found that we generally agreed better asunder, and therefore his visit at one of my residences was always a signal for me to remove to the other.

In this manner I spent about a twelvemonth, during which time I made occasional excursions to Bareges, famous for its medicinal waters, where I exhibited all the folly and extravagance peculiar to our countrymen abroad. I passed the greatest part of my time at my house at Tarbes, as I found there an intimacy with the Prince and Princess de R R-⁹ who had been banished to their country seat through the intrigues of the Court. This exile, however, was attended neither with gloom nor melancholy. Their château, which was magnificent, was generally filled with people of the first rank, and the most remarkable for wit and talents. Gallantry was the principal pursuit of the inhabitants and visitors of this fairy castle.

I became acquainted here with Monseigneur de T-¹⁰, who spent all the time that could be spared from his pastoral functions, which required his attendance but one hour in the week, at the Prince's château. The austerity of the priest he threw aside with his clerical habit, and in our society was all life and spirit. I had the good fortune to be honoured with his particular attention, which from a person in such high estimation could not fail of being very acceptable to a young man of my disposition. I am indebted to him for much useful information respecting France, and I shall ever retain for him the greatest esteem and veneration.

The Prince was one of those characters of whom nothing would be said, if he were not a Prince! ` The Princess, on the other hand, must have attracted notice in any station : although past forty, she was still a fine woman; and had something peculiarly pleasing in her manners and address. In public she condescended to treat me in the manner she would a favourite son; but in a tete-å-tete she would have been much displeased had I behaved to her with the respect due to a mother ; and this, I firmly believe, without any criminal intent, but merely from the vanity of being admired.

The following scene, which passed between the Princess, her daughter, and myself, will skew that however deficient she might have been in female delicacy, she at least harboured no design against me in her own person.

She had a daughter, who was at that time about sixteen; and though not handsome she was lively and agreeable. One day the Princess invited me to breakfast with her on the following morning in her bedchamber. This is so common in France that it created no surprise in me: I accordingly repaired to the place of assignation. When I entered the apartment, the Princess was still in bed and her daughter seated on one side of it. Breakfast was served and we conversed for some time on indifferent subjects. At length the Princess, under pretence of examining a new pair of stays which her daughter wore, took off the young lady's handkerchief and left her neck entirely bare; all the time observing me with a fixed eye, in order to discover how I should be affected at such an extraordinary behaviour. Astonishment, I believe, was strongly depicted in my countenance, and, libertine as I was, I could not avoid being shocked at so great an outrage against female decorum. When the young lady had quitted the apartment the Princess asked my opinion of her daughter, and without waiting for my answer told me that the young person had conceived a very favourable idea of me, and proceeded without further ceremony to propose a match between us. At first I looked upon this as a feint; as I had conceived the idea that the Princess did not regard me with indifference herself. But on her persisting in the proposal, I expressed my acknowledgment in the warmest terms, and promised to write immediately to my friends on the subject, which I did that very evening. It was not long before I received an answer, which contained a positive disapprobation of the match, on account of the difference of our religions. This, I must own, was a circumstance which never occurred to me. My friends were not content with simply expressing their refusal, but wrote to my tutor, to remove me with all possible speed from Auch, in which perhaps he would have found some difficulty had it not been backed by a motive more powerful than his authority, and which I am going to relate.

In the neighbourhood of Auch I became acquainted with the Count de V-, a young nobleman of a large fortune, which he chiefly devoted to his pleasures.

As our dispositions were so congenial, it is not extraordinary that a strict intimacy should soon have commenced between us. At his house I fell passionately in love with a young lady of exquisite beauty. She was a relation of his and as I had by this time pretty well got rid of that mauvaise honte which I carried with me to France, I did not hesitate long before I made her acquainted with my passion, and in a short time succeeded to the utmost extent of my wishes. Our intrigue was carried on with such circumspection that we concealed it from the knowledge of her mother, notwithstanding all her vigilance. But there was a third witness likely to intrude, of which we were not aware, and which rendered it necessary immediately to concert some measures to prevent its turning evidence against us. The best expedient I could devise was to make the Count a confidant of the whole affair, well knowing the looseness of his morals in everything in which women were concerned ; nor was I deceived in my expectations. His advice was to carry off directly his fair cousin from her relations, and remove her to some place where she might remain concealed till such time as it might be thought proper for her to appear again in the world. I accordingly conveyed her secretly to my house at Auch, where I intended she should continue during my residence in that part of the country. But unfortunately an Abbé of whom I learned French, and who had free access to my house, discovered the secret, and either through envy or resentment at not having been consulted in the affair, he read the poor girl so severe a lecture on the enormity of the sin of being connected with an heretic and the damnation that must ensue, that I found her, on my return, bathed in a flood of tears and given up to despair. I comforted her as well as I could, and exhausted my little stock of morality, in order to convince her of the absurdity of this Abbé's assertions. It became, however, necessary to remove her, for fear of worse consequences, to a place of greater security. As soon as this was accomplished, I went in quest of Monsieur l'Abbé, whom I found by the luckiest chance on the parade with some officers of my acquaintance. I reproached him in very severe terms with his unfashionable behaviour; and chastised him on the spot, by giving him a very severe caning.

The Abbé made immediate application to a magistrate, who without any process or form of trial committed me to prison. I was, however, soon liberated by the interposition of the Archbishop of Auch, who passed his word that I should appear to answer any charges which might be preferred against me.

In the meantime he wrote an account of the transaction to the Minister, who immediately sent an order that the magistrate should be dismissed for the irregularity of his conduct: for that revengeful Abbé had brought no less a charge against me than of having insulted, violently assaulted and raised my sacrilegious hands against a Priest; a crime which was punished with all the severity of the law, and for which the magistrate thought proper to have me imprisoned and dealt with as a common malefactor; nor [do] I know whether I should not have been doomed to experience the same fate which the young and unfortunate Chevalier de la Barre suffered at Abbéville in 1766, had it not turned out, luckily for me, that this fellow only wore the dress of a Priest, and had never been ordained; a fact, the certainty of which it was the duty of the Magister to ascertain before he had begun any criminal process against me.

I mention this circumstance as one out of many to which I was witness, where the slightest offence was punished with the strictest severity ; and which may serve as a lesson to democrats and revolutionists, who have vilified the old government of France as a pretence for their massacres and pillage.

Before I left Auch I consulted one of the most experienced lawyers, upon the best means of conveying away my protégée, without risk to her or myself. His advice was, that she should [meet] me at a small distance from town, in the presence of some witnesses, who would be ready to prove that it was she who inveigled and carried me off. This was a subterfuge practised in France to evade the severity of the law against seduction.

At length I quitted Auch, where I had expended above eighteen thousand pounds, and repaired with my beauteous Helen to Lyons, and from thence to Montpellier, where she was delivered of a daughter who died shortly after. When the mother was sufficiently recovered to be removed, I placed her in the Convent of the Tiercelets and allowed her a pension which was regularly remitted to her until all communication was stopped between England and France. Since that time all my endeavours to discover what became of her have been fruitless.

After this inconsiderate proceeding, I went to spend some time at Marseilles, on a visit to my sister ¹² who was settled in that city; and as she was acquainted with most of the principal inhabitants, I passed my time very agreeably among them. I was enraptured with the vivacity and cheerfulness of these Provençals.

The Marseillese ladies are in general handsome, excessively gay and without the least restraint in their conversation ; using the most familiar and unrestrained expressions to gentlemen as well as to each other without the least ceremony. This freedom of speech, however, keeps the bon ton at a distance; and though very pleasing in their own circles, becomes very vulgar and tedious to a nice observer. I was young, had a respectable train of :servants and spoke the French language tolerably well; this was more than sufficient to gain me admission into all their parties. But my versatile disposition, or rather my evil genius, prompted me to quit this pleasant and harmless society and return to Lyons, where I met with an adventure, from which I may date all my subsequent misfortunes.

In this city I could find nothing to amuse me, if I except the sumptuous entertainments I gave to all those who chose to partake of them. Magnificent balls and suppers to the ladies, extravagant and expensive dinners to the gentlemen, succeeded each other in quick rotation. The people of Lyons are very different from those of Marseilles. The latter only think how to make life agreeable, while the former concentrate all their enjoyments in the eagerness of making a rapid fortune. As an instance of their interested character, I shall relate a circumstance not generally known; and which I should not have discovered, had not a Lyonese girl led me into the secret. At Lyons there is a league formed between the shopkeepers and the other inhabitants against all strangers who come to visit them. It is usual for foreigners to bring letters of recommendation to some of the principal inhabitants for the purpose of procuring lodging and assisting them in the purchase of whatever they may stand in need of. These complaisant conductors have ten per cent. from the merchant upon every article which he sells by their recommendation, and for which he of course takes care to reimburse himself in the price of his commodities; so that the purchaser pays ten per cent. more than he would have done, if he [had] gone alone to the shop; and at the same time looks upon as much obliged to his friend for his assistance in obtaining what he thinks a good bargain.

The rich and the poor are here employed in their shops and warehouses from morning till night. The spirit of gain is the sole active principle which prevails in this vast magazine of luxury, which distributes its various articles to the four quarters of the world.

As to the Lyonese ladies, they possess but few attractive charms. A certain apathy and listlessness of manners destroy the effects of any beauty with which nature may have endowed them; and which is further injured by those monstrous wens, from which very few of them are exempt. I had no resource therefore, but in the pleasures of the table.

Among my numerous friends and acquaintances were two Irish gentlemen, whose names I shall conceal; because I only wish to impeach myself. I lived with them in so close an intimacy, that in a short time we became inseparable. Some time afterwards I received an anonymous letter, cautioning me to beware of my new friends, who were represented to be a couple of desperate gamblers, come from Spa, for the express purpose of making me the dupe of their execrable trade. They had received information of my residence at Lyons from one of their emissaries, whom they employed in such places as young men of fortune were likely to resort to. I paid but very little attention to this advice, as I never observed in either of them the least inclination for play: besides, I was so little addicted to it myself, that I did not believe they had sufficient influence over me to induce me to play, even were they so inclined. However, I shewed the letter to my tutor, who was of opinion that I should entirely avoid their company, and gave me some further exhortation against every species of gaming whatsoever yet I was so infatuated with my new acquaintance, that I disregarded this good advice and the admonition of my unknown friend.

Some time afterwards we were invited to dinner by the two gentlemen, which invitation my tutor declined nor could I ever learn what motive induced him not to accompany me to a place which he himself thought dangerous. This gave occasion for many of my relations to think that he was a party concerned in the scheme. But they certainly did him injustice. He was, it is true, a man of free principles, but I could never accuse him of anything unfair or dishonourable; besides, it was no uncommon thing with him to excuse himself from parties to which we were both invited. I therefore went alone to encounter this pair of worthies.

They had taken care to provide a handsome company of female beauties, who by their persuasion and example induced me to sacrifice so liberally to Bacchus at dinner, that before the dessert was introduced the glasses seemed to dance before me. Nothing would then satisfy them but we must drink champagne out of pint rummers, which soon completed the business.

When I was in a proper state for them to begin their operations, they one and all proposed playing at hiding the horse. I was in no condition to refuse anything, and soon acceded to their proposal, and without being scarcely conscious that I was engaged in it I lost fourteen thousand eight hundred pounds on my parole, exclusive of my ready money, carriage, jewels, etc. I know not why they even stopped here ; for I was in such a state that they might have stript me of my whole fortune. I cannot, however, feel myself much indebted for this instance of their forbearance. They contented themselves for the present with a bill for the amount, which I drew on La Touche's Bank, and [I] then went to bed in a state of torpid insensibility.

The first thing I did in the morning was to communicate the whole transaction to my governor, with which he was visibly affected : but as he saw the state of mind I was in, he forbore saying anything that might add to my distress, but rather endeavoured to console me by saying that the evil was not without remedy, and that at least it would have one good effect by rendering me more cautious and prevent me from ever falling into such hands for the future. This, though a negative sort of comfort, joined to the natural strength of my animal spirits, restored me in some measure to a state of tranquillity.

I did not enjoy it long. My banker, on whom I had drawn for so enormous a sum, communicated the affair to my friends before he would honour the bill. They advised him by no means to pay it, and it was returned protested. This was a most mortifying piece of intelligence to the fraternity ; yet they were not without their expedients : they advised me to repair immediately to London, where, upon my fortune being made known, I should find no difficulty in getting my bills discounted to any amount I thought proper. As a further inducement for me to undertake the journey, they offered to remit half the debt, provided I should succeed in procuring the remainder.

My tutor was much averse to this scheme, which, he said, would entirely ruin him in the opinion of my relations, whose friendship it was so much his interest and inclination to preserve. But upon my representing to him the advantage of getting rid of half the debt he at length consented, and the following plan was concerted between us, in order to conceal from my friends my departure from France. I was to leave with him a series of letters to my mother, of different dates, according to the periods I usually wrote to her, which he was to dispatch occasionally as if I had been actually on the spot. This, I must own, I did rather to avoid giving my mother pain than to remove any anxiety I felt on his account. I then drew a bill upon Dublin for two thousand louis-d'ors, with part of which I paid some debts I owed at Lyons, and the remainder was to bear my expenses to London. Matters being thus arranged I set out with one of my creditors, leaving the other with my tutor, who I believe would gladly have dispensed with such a companion.

Before I take leave of Lyons and those good-natured friends, I must mention a trick played on me of a different nature ; but which, if we consider both the parties concerned, had more knavery in it. In the company of gamblers, we are, or should be, on our guard; knowing that plunder is their trade: but we confide in men of business, from a supposition that they cannot injure us without hurting their own credit. The following fact, however, will be a caution to travellers how they sign bills of exchange abroad without strictly examining their contents.

I had by this time an unlimited credit on P-d at Paris. My friends thought this was one of the many expedients which might be tried to save me from ruin, and reclaim me from my follies, by inspiring [me] with a sense of honour and gratitude ; and if it had not the desired effect, it would at all events prevent me from raising money by having recourse to usurers.

This Mr. P- gave me letters of credit on all the principal towns which I visited. I drew on him from all parts of France, and whenever I owed him £2000 he sent me two bills of exchange, as first and second, on my banker at Dublin, of the same amount for me to sign, which I always did without hesitation. But when I came afterwards to settle with my agent at home, I found that many of these bills had been paid twice over. This vile negotiator had drawn them in such a manner as to make them appear of different tenour and dates. All my attempts to rectify this mistake and recover the money have hitherto been fruitless : for whenever I wished him to confront my checks with his letters of exchange, he always found some pretence or other to prevent the investigation. I have reproached him in his own house with the infamy of his conduct ; and this I have done at a time when it was so dangerous to have any difference with a man who was flourishing under the reign of Robespierre. I can assert with truth and upon my honour, that I do not think I have been defrauded of less than ten thousand pounds in this manner. So much for the honesty of a foreign banker.

On my arrival at Paris we took up our lodgings at the Hotel Jacob, Faubourg St. Germain. In the evening I went to the opera, where chance placed me near a lady of exquisite beauty, whose occupation it was not difficult to discover, and who, as I soon perceived, set me down as an object worthy her attention. A conversation therefore commenced between us, in the course of which she proved herself a perfect mistress of that species of dialect which is called jargon in France. After the opera I offered my hand to conduct her to the lobby, where she took the opportunity of telling me that her horses being all out of order, her brother, who was a captain in the army, had attended her to the opera in his carriage, under a promise of returning after the performance. As she did not perceive him, she hoped it was not trespassing too far to request I would send one of my servants to call a fiacre. After expressing my astonishment at the want of attention in her brother, I congratulated myself on its effects, as it gave me an opportunity of being in some degree useful to her. I pressed her to accept of my carriage, to which, after much well-acted repugnance, she consented. I accompanied her to the house, where I found everything in the most magnificent style, and perfectly consonant with the way of living of a person of the first rank and fashion. However, there were immediately such preparations made as did not seem intended for her inattentive brother, nor could I help being struck with the analogy of my case to that of poor Gil Blas in a like adventure. However, the good opinion I had of myself, the beauty of the lady, her engaging and fashionable manners made me soon forget the comparison. Nor did I think myself so little versed in scenes of this nature as to suffer myself to be duped by such an artifice. I remained, therefore, perfectly satisfied with my own reflections, and attributed my good fortune to my own merit and address. Supper was soon served up, which consisted of a variety of delicacies and the most exquisite wines.

During our repast she gave me a short account of her history. Her husband had a considerable employment at Court, and was then in attendance upon his Majesty at Versailles. I had dismissed my carriage that I might have some pretence for lengthening my visit, which I procrastinated till three o'clock in the morning, when I left her, highly pleased with my evening's entertainment, and not without having previously obtained her permission to pay my respects the following day.

I became now her constant cicisbeo, and her husband was so much engaged in his attendance at Court, that he had the civility never once to interrupt us. I thought myself the happiest young fellow in Paris or London. One day, however, I found her buried in thought and overwhelmed with the most unfeigned sorrow; nor could I at first prevail on her to disclose to her bosom friend the cause of her uneasiness. After repeated entreaties she confessed to me that the preceding night, having supped at the Duke de -, she had been induced to play, and had lost, besides her ready money, one thousand louis-d'ors on her parole ; which, if she did not pay in the course of the day, would not only dishonour her in the great world, but would be the subject of eternal animosity and reproach between herself and her husband.

I was so struck with her grief and the plausibility of her story, that swift as an eagle I flew to my Hotel and laid at her feet every sol I had in my possession, which at that time did not exceed £700. Quite overpowered with my generosity, she thanked me in the most courteous manner, and whatever I could do and say, she would not accept more than £500, saying that with the help of that sum she should be able to make up the whole before evening.

I was never better satisfied with myself, in my life, than when I returned to my Hotel, £500 minus in pocket; but with the consciousness of having rescued an amiable young woman of fashion from shame and ruin. I was so intoxicated with her charms and her fondness for me, that if she had asked two thousand guineas I should not have rested a moment till I had raised that sum.

I do not know how much longer this infatuation would have lasted, if my creditors had not pressed me very much to proceed to England. I therefore left my charmer with all the anguish and throbbings of a young and inexperienced lover, fully determined to return to her as soon as my affairs should be settled in London.

But I suppose she was glad the farce was over; for by what I felt and experienced in the sequel, it could not remain much longer concealed that she was nothing better than an intriguante.

As soon as I arrived in London, I endeavoured to get my bills discounted; but without effect. I had not been many days in the capital, when one evening a stranger entered my room and delivered to me the following letter :

" Sir,

"I am now the miserable inhabitant of a Convent, into which I have been forced by my friends were it not for the expectation of regaining my liberty, I should convince them that I prefer death to a confinement so repugnant to my temper and disposition. From what I have heard of your character I have conceived the flattering hope that you will exert your utmost endeavours to deliver me from this captivity. As a proof of my gratitude I shall be happy to lay myself and fortune at your feet.

"The person who will deliver you this letter is the husband of my nurse, who is still with me; they are both 'n my interest; and you may place an implicit confidence in him.

" Signed, C-: P-:"

I knew very well that Miss P- was at Paris, in the same Convent with Lady B-, her intimate friend, to whom I had been introduced. I knew likewise that Miss P-'s fortune was twenty-five thousand a year, besides two hundred thousand pounds in ready money. Though I never had the pleasure of seeing this rich heiress, yet considering my personal merits and the lady's acquaintance with Lady B-, her application to me seemed perfectly natural and consistent with reason. I read the letter over several times, examined the superscription, and at every interval cast a look at the bearer, to trace if possible any marks of deceit in his countenance; but I could perceive none: he answered all my questions with such simplicity and appearance of candour that I could no longer doubt of the fact.

He told me that he had received the letter from his wife, who enjoined him to use all his endeavours in persuading me to return with him to Paris, as her mistress was very impatient to see me and to concert measures for her escape. I at length dismissed him, desiring that he would come in the evening when he should have his answer.

My Irish companion, to whom I communicated the intelligence, was in raptures at the prospect of such a good fortune, and confirmed me in the design of repairing immediately to Paris. But, unfortunately, I had not in my possession more than ten guineas remaining out of two thousand I had received two months before at Lyons. In this difficulty I had recourse to my banker for a supply, which he positively refused, as he feared, and not without reason, that my return to France would be but a renewal of my former follies. Upon this I found myself under the necessity of shewing him the letter, which when he had read I was both pleased and astonished to find him entering as warmly into the project as if he had been a young man of eighteen, without reflection or experience. My banker was a man of strict honour and probity: without guile himself, he suspected none in others; and though engaged all his lifetime in business, was as ignorant of the wiles and deceit of mankind as if he had been the inhabitant of another world. He offered me all the money I should want for the occasion; but wished first to see the bearer of the letter, that we might regulate our motions accordingly.

When I mentioned this to the foster-father of the young lady, he was by no means pleased with the communication I had made, and represented the risk he should run of being discovered an accomplice in carrying off a person from a convent, a crime always punished in France with the utmost severity of the law. I quieted his apprehensions by assuring him that he might depend upon the discretion of my banker. He told me he would consider of it, and that he would have no objection to the interview in case he could do it without danger to himself. In the course of two days he returned and agreed to accompany me to the banker's.

We all three met and dined together at a tavern in Covent Garden. After some conversation it was finally determined that he and the banker should set off directly for Paris to prepare matters, and they should inform me whenever my presence became necessary. While we were giving orders about procuring a carriage my servant came to inform my new acquaintance that a person wished to speak to him. At this I perceived that he was visibly affected. He went out and soon after returned, saying he was the most unfortunate man in the world; that one of his creditors had found him out and got him arrested, so that it was impossible he could proceed to Paris. The banker demanded how much the debt was, and on being told it was £ 150, he immediately advanced this sum, upon which the other retired, as we thought, to pay his creditor; but he did not think proper to return nor have we ever set eyes on him since.

One would imagine that this was sufficient to have unravelled the whole plot ; and it is certain that if I had been left to my own determination I would have givenup the point without further inquiry. Not so my friend ; he was too sanguine in the prospect of my advantage not to persevere while there remained any hope of success. His next step was to consult my creditor, who watched me like a tipstaff lest I should slip through his fingers. His advice was, and for which he had no doubt good reasons, that the banker should procure some person of the law who could speak French to accompany him and advise him in the steps proper to be taken on their arrival at Paris. He was not long in finding one fit for his purpose, whom he engaged under promise of allowing him £500 for his attendance.

They soon arrived at Paris, and lost no time in repairing to the convent, where they were immediately admitted to the presence of Lady B-, to whom they presented their credentials, I mean the letter addressed to me. When she had read it, she desired Miss Pto be called ; who no sooner cast her eyes on the letter than she burst into a violent fit of laughter in which she was joined by her companion, to the manifest confusion of the two adventurers, who, finding the whole to be a gross and manifest forgery, slunk away and made the best of their way back to London.

This was not the worst part of it ; for exclusive of paying the attorney the stipulated sum, the banker had the additional mortification of seeing the whole affair detailed in all the papers under the title of "A Trip to Paris, or the Banker taken in."

I found afterwards that the whole had been a plot laid by the fraternity for the purpose of inveigling me to the Continent, where they hoped not only to get me arrested for the bill I had drawn on Dublin, and which had been returned protested; but to pursue their further operations and schemes on me with greater security than they could do in London, surrounded as I was by my friends and relations. But though they failed in the main point, their principal agent had profited something by his sham arrest.

My health was now so much impaired that I found it absolutely necessary to apply to medical assistance. Unluckily it happened that I was recommended to a physician of eminence who was well acquainted with my family in Ireland. He immediately conveyed an account of the state in which he found me, and of my conduct in general, with which few indeed were unacquainted. My step-father Mr. N-¹² was affected beyond measure at such an unexpected piece of intelligence, and lost no time in repairing to me himself.

Although the character of Mr. N- be well known, I cannot resist the desire I feel of rendering homage to the eminent qualities of that incomparable man, and to pay him this small tribute of respect and gratitude. He is at once the tender husband, the warm friend and generous benefactor. He is possessed of such extensive knowledge, of manners so conciliating, as would alone have procured him friends, were he not endowed with every other qualification that can command and ensure the love and veneration of his fellow citizens.

I was much afflicted at the sight of this sincere friend, who upon entering my apartment told me that on the first intelligence of my illness, he had come to convey me to his lodging, where I should be better accommodated than at a public Hotel ; and at the same time be at some distance from a society to whom I might impute the greatest part of my misfortunes. He reprobated in very severe terms the conduct of my governor, who, he said, might at least have accompanied me to London, since he had not sufficient authority to prevent my coming myself. He next took my creditor to task for the atrociousness of his conduct in pillaging a young man and enticing him away from his tutor, in hopes of raising money at an exorbitant interest in London, by which he had introduced sorrow and distress into a respectable family. This was so little relished by the person to whom it was addressed, that he thought proper to call Mr. N- to account for the liberty he took with his character. Mr. N- was not a man to be browbeaten, and the affair might have had serious consequences but for the interposition of some friends who contrived that the matter should be settled in a manner more pleasing to all parties.

Footnotes

1 See Preface.
2 The whole of this passage, to the 3rd line from the bottom of p.10, is crossed out or removed from MS. No. 2.
3 * The words between asterisks are crossed out in MS. No. 2.
4 See Preface.
5 Ibid.
6 See Preface.
7 There is here an obvious erasure-the letter N being substituted. See Preface.
8 * The words between the asterisks are crossed out in MS. No. 2, the words " it was considered right " being added.
9 Filled in in pencil in the MS. " R(ohan) R(ohan)."
10 de Tarbes in MS. No.2.
11 Probably Lady Stewart.
12 Mr. N_ on this and the next page appears as Mr. R- in MS. No. 2. See Preface.