Dear Brenda,
I have the 1881 census for the Isle of Man on CD and came across the follwing entry which would seem to be the most likely candidate:-
Dwelling: Grawe
Census Place: Lonan, Isle of Man, England
Source: FHL Film 1342346 PRO Ref RG11 Piece 5601 Folio 105 Page 6
Marr Age Sex Birthplace
Thomas FARGHER M 53 M Lonan, Isle of Man, England
Rel: Head
Occ: Farmer Of 45 Acres
Margret FARGHER M 52 F Lonan, Isle of Man, England
Rel: Wife
William FARGHER U 28 M Lonan, Isle of Man, England
Rel: Son
Occ: Farmers Son
Thomas C. FARGHER U 23 M Lonan, Isle of Man, England
Rel: Son
Occ: Grocers Shopman
Margaret A. FARGHER U 21 F Lonan, Isle of Man, England
Rel: Daur
Occ: General Servant
John J. FARGHER U 18 M Lonan, Isle of Man, England
Rel: Son
Occ: Joiner
Maria H. FARGHER U 14 F Lonan, Isle of Man, England
Rel: Daur
Occ: Scholar
Frances E. FARGHER U 12 F Lonan, Isle of Man, England
Rel: Daur
Occ: Scholar
Robert J. FARGHER U 10 M Lonan, Isle of Man, England
Rel: Son
Occ: Scholar
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Another possible candidate is as follows:-
Dwelling: Crot Kilvine
Census Place: Lonan, Isle of Man, England
Source: FHL Film 1342346 PRO Ref RG11 Piece 5601 Folio 107 Page 10
Marr Age Sex Birthplace
Robert FARGHER M 51 M Lonan, Isle of Man, England
Rel: Head
Occ: Lead Miner
Jane FARGHER M 40 F Lonan, Isle of Man, England
Rel: Wife
Occ: Lead Miner Wife
John J. FARGHER U 19 M Lonan, Isle of Man, England
Rel: Son
Occ: Lead Miner
Mary A. FARGHER U 15 F Lonan, Isle of Man, England
Rel: Daur
Occ: Scholar
Robert W. FARGHER U 10 M Lonan, Isle of Man, England
Rel: Son
Occ: Scholar
Margret E. FARGHER U 13 F Lonan, Isle of Man, England
Rel: Daur
Occ: Scholar
Charles H. FARGHER U 4 M Lonan, Isle of Man, England
Rel: Son
Charlotte H. FARGHER U 1 F Lonan, Isle of Man, England
Rel: Daur
Jane FARGHER U 64 F Lonan, Isle of Man, England
Rel: Lodger
Occ: Dressmaker
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If your date of birth is accurate and the age at census was correct the first entry would seem the most likely and his occuption of joiner would seem to fit in better with his later going to sea.
Best wishes,
Colin.